Hispanic Oprah

I love the idea that I can sit at my desk and just write my thoughts today. I think I need to just write, just re-focus on some of my goals, and move forward. Last night I didn't have the greatest night, but I have a great husband and great friends that helped me through it. Today I told my students just how much weight I have gained this year. It is funny the way that they view size and weight. They said they don't even consider me to really be that thick. Hmm, no thanks, I don't care to be thick, though the chances of my J-Lo booty ever really disappearing are slim to none.

Anyway, I really didn't want to discuss my weight issues, but alas, that's right where it always heads back to, doesn't it?

I was looking at my children the other day. I see how time starts to fly. Mari is so tall and so smart. It almost breaks my heart as I reflect on how I am already trying to protect and save her all them time. The other day three little girls were putting rocks in her hair at recess. Why are little girls so mean to each other? When I was in Elementary school I always had Sarah. I don't think we really even noticed anyone else on the play ground. Then, we just added friends, more and more and more of them. We played sports together, we had play dates, we did everything together. Mari plays by herself at recess a lot, and she doesn't even seem to mind it. I am sure it is not strange at all, or that perhaps she doesn't even realize how many friends she has, or what she is doing with them. I guess I worry too much.

I see what they become, or could become, each and every day. I watch the broken spirits of the young men and women in the halls here at school. I hear their struggle while they pretend to be tough, to be proud, to be brave. I watch them with their friends, with the significant others. More than that, I see how they see themselves in the mirror. I have a mirror right outside of my room. So, I am not creeping around or something strange, but literally, every single time I walk out of my door, there are several kids watching themselves in the mirror. I wonder what time or event in their young life things change like that. I pray a lot for my students, my "work" children. I pray that they find their potential in this place of doubt and disregard. It is scary to hear their stories, but enormously powerful to enjoy in their success.

Some days I feel like the Hispanic Oprah I give out so much advice.

I am so excited that I will have the opportunity to come back here again next year. It is a relief in these times to keep my job when I know how many other, fully qualified and amazing teachers are being let go over budgetary constraints. I don't understand the thinking of cutting teachers to "protect the budget"... Yet, the cuts will increase the unemployment rate, then, bam, who's budget is unbalanced from foreclosed homes, decreased taxes... Yuck! I don't even want to discuss it, or think about it, and yet, it surrounds me! SURROUNDS ME! I guess I have an entire year to worry about it again though.

I am sure I have so much more to ponder, but the bell rang, and no one likes to stay late after school!