The last paragraph

I feel like I am reading a wonderful book. I am a fair amount of the way into the book, you know, where you are fully invested in the characters, you relate to them, laugh with them, feel their fears, the whole nine yards. Well, it's as though I have been reading a lovely chapter; it has been full of happy times, struggles, lots of love and little smiling faces (the most precious angel faces I have ever seen). With each day, I can see it... I am coming to the end of the chapter. I feel like I am trying to read slower, trying to savor those last few sentences, on the last paragraph, of a phenomenal chapter.

It is the kind of book where you don't need pictures, you can close your eyes and imagine each and every story. You can cry just thinking about how perfectly wonderful and smashingly horrible it has all been. But, alas, it is also the sort of book, where you can't see what is going to happen when you turn the page. Oh sure, I can see the sub titles, and I can even see the fancy graphic indicating a new chapter is about to begin. Beyond that, well, unfortunately, turning to that page means closing out this chapter.

I feel, well, terrified? Perhaps humbled? Nope, I am definitely going to throw up. I can guess what lies ahead in the next chapter... I know the oldest girl will be off to kindergarten. Oh how it breaks my heart to see her growing up so quickly. Her big brown eyes begging mommy to sleep in her bed one more night, followed by an independent morning of having to brush her own hair, her own teeth and picking out her own outfit. I know I can hardly take credit for how wonderful her little heart is. I know first hand what an extraordinary daddy she has. He sacrifices so much, and loves them anyway. I know God sends the angels to surround this family, I have witnessed the proof. I wonder how that first day of school will be.

The mom, it feels like she never stops. People in the story thought she was crazy for going to school when her youngest daughter was only 3 weeks old. I suppose she just closed her eyes and leapt. Only now, it's been what, 18 months, and she is standing there, right there, about to step into a magical world. I know from the previous chapters, she has always been a teacher, but in the next chapter, she'll put that to the test. I do wonder if the kids will like her. I wonder if she'll pass or fail... I am terrified to think that she will impact someone's life far more than she should be given the ability to. Yet, I know God will guide her, and I know He will protect them. I can picture her, tugging at a dress she hasn't needed to wear in some time, wondering if her hair will make it an entire day, wishing she had chose a more comfortable pair of shoes, worrying, worrying, worrying... What will happen if the kids she already loves, she already knows, she already prays for, what will happen if they no longer see her, or look at her, the way they always did before? This time, this is the time they have to call her "Mrs."

Oh won't the next chapter be interesting for the littlest one? She changes almost every day. Will she still dance? Will her eyes sparkle when she lays down for a nap, the precious little smile swept over her face in that instant she drifts off to sleep? She so much wants to be like that big sister... I remember when she was born, all the hopes, all the dreams. She really was the precious image God had placed in her daddy's dream. There is a world out there, and something tells me, she will find a way to tackle it, and we will laugh with her along the way.

It is going to be a new chapter all right. I know they are pretending it isn't going to happen, and yet, pretending doesn't seem to slow it down. The chapter is ending, the family will push forward. Oh Lord, please, hear my prayer as though you have never heard the cries of a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister and a friend ever before... Peace be unto this chapter, wisdom, patience, guidance and love, let them flow out in abundance. Lord, let them dance.

Will I have the guts to close the chapter? It will take the strength of a mustard seed, the courage of Daniel, and well, it has been a terrific story so far, I am guessing this new chapter will offer different perspectives, different appreciation, and it will offer another stepping stone in the path the Lord has laid before me. Okay Lord, I am holding on, closing my eyes...
I am leaping!