The reason for being...

Well, it is funny the way life works sometimes. This morning I came in to school, hoping that I would find my phone's memory card on the floor. I had dropped it the other day, and it went shattering into several pieces. No luck though, which meant the other possibility was more of a reality. One of my shady students jacked it out of my phone. Apparently a 4GB memory card is the equivalent of gold at my school.

I noticed it had gone "MIA" yesterday when another student had come in to ask for help with his memory chip needing to be formatted. When we decided to test it out in my phone, I noticed my own memory card was no longer in place. Total bummer! But, I had a lot of other things to do, which is what this story really comes down to.

Yesterday was our school's count day. This is a really big day for all schools. This is the day that the school turn their numbers over to the state and we get our distribution of funds. If your kids are absent, then there goes there 7k. So, I spent a lot of class calling home, getting kids to come to school, etc. I knew that my 8th period would be particularly challenging, as they are my ESL kiddos, and they come and go as they please.

For instance, Geovanna used to come to class every day. She asked me to hold her accountable and help her to do better in school. She hates my classwork, but she loves me, so I usually let her come in and make her own decisions. Sometimes I ask her to clean my desk, or to organize things. I often have her do things that require art, as that is something she really loves. She tells me about her life, about being in a gang, her messed up family. Just the things of life that I never imagined actually existed. Her problems are real.

Geovanna has a truancy court date in 5 days. She will probably be sent to a juvenile detention center for not going to school. She isn't even scared to go, and she already has a brother in jail, so it isn't something that is intimidating for her. Plus, she is gay, so she said it will be easy to hook up still.

My job has never been to judge my students, and I don't. They don't need another person to lecture them, they need one person to love them, trust them, and see their potential. This is what I have been for Geovanna. Then, there was a day three weeks ago. I had tons of work to do, and I asked her to actually work that day. She was mad, so she went over to a computer, put her head down, slept, and then never came back to class.

Now, the kids don't know what count day means, so instead, I decided that it was an important day because it was the end of the quarter. I bought my kids candy, gave out extra credit, one class even asked me for pizza, so we ate pizza. I called lots of kids at home, who showed up in class. I called kids cell phone's, funny, they showed up to class to. The students in class thought is was hysterical. But, then there was 8th period.

Students have been telling me for weeks that Geovanna had been in school, they had seen her in gym class, etc. Oh, so it is just my class she is no longer attending? Well, this is not acceptable! I called both of her parents, no answer. No one in class had her cell number, so I hit the pavement! I went out the front doors of our school, into the sea of students in the parking lot. I started asking every Mexican group of students if they had seen her.

I went up to one of my other students. At first, she tried to pretend not to know or see me. I find humor in this, and therefor I made it a point to go right over to her group. I didn't wear my ID, that usually makes the kids go running. So, I went over to Lizeth's crew, and I proceeded to ask them if they knew Geovanna, where she was, if they had her number, etc. One kid got into my face and said, "What are you going to do to her, jump her?" I started laughing and said, "You mean, like fight her? I am her teacher, I want her in class!" He thought I was a student. One kid admitted he knew her, but not her number. I explained to them all that she wasn't in trouble, yet, but that the SRO's, the Administrators, the truancy person... they were all on the look out for her, and that she needed to be safe in my class.

I knew if I asked enough people, they would call her and get her in class. Sure enough 5 minutes later, there she was. She just kept asking me why. The students outside just kept asking me why. The kids at their houses just asked why. My answer was always the same. I care about you, it is the last day of the quarter, and I want to make sure we are on the same page. You all know, I hate to have anyone fail my classes. I want you to succeed.

Geovanna sat next to me the entire class. She drew a picture. I colored it and laminated it. I never yelled at her, I never asked her to work. I asked her to be safe, and to be in my class. I told her how much I had missed her, and how much I needed her to be in my room, so I wasn't worried about her.

Today Geovanna made a special trip down to my room. She had drawn me another picture.She asked me to wait and read it until she was gone, and out the door she went. The top of the picture has a tattered ribbon banner, with my name and some flowers on it. These were the words beneath it:


"Believe it or not Mrs. T you're the first adult in my life To show that they care. Besides my parents. I've never had a Teacher go out looking for me like you. I know I will never forget that. My point is Thank you. it means alot to me, I tryed to not Show my tears But I know your one of the people's in my life I can Trust

Thank you so much"

Does that take the place of a $40 memory card? Well today it reminded me that I was exactly where I needed to be, and that I have made a difference in at least one life. So, yeah, I will still have to be mean Tango and get on my kids for stealing, but I guess holding them accountable for ALL of their actions, good and bad, is part of the game. So, yeah, it helps me to have the strength to come down on them, and reminds me that they must have needed it a whole lot more than I did. The most valuable lesson they will learn, is the grace and forgiveness given unto them for finding their won strength to return it.